Affirmations MY way.

*msn: I want to lie on the floor, stare at the ceiling, cigarette in one hand, beer in another, let the music flow 'n the world go by..

I have spent my entire life wishing I was someone else.

Not a whole someone else, per se, but more like, bits and pieces of people.

Like sweetheart with her gorgeous hair and bohemian chic, or super-sophisticated amoeba (see links).

Or almost-Miriam and the way she doesn’t take Lizzie for granted, like I do Boyfriend sometimes.

Or Boyfriend, and how he always knows the right thing to do, and does it.

Or my irresistible honey tea and her undying charm.

Or the quick-tongued ice queen and how she doesn’t need to change to like herself.

Or, (and most of all) my wonderful, precious, Sylvia, who is possibly everything I want to be. The sad thing is that she feels she’s crap most of the time, which…is just sad.

Or the clichés:

Lean and lithe, tiny wisp, slender and tall; mass of curls, hair like a waterfall, pixie-cropped; eyes like the sky, twin-set emeralds, limpid pools of black; flame-haired, hair of gold, raven beauty; milk-white skin, peaches-and-cream, pale and blue-veined, apple-cheeked and freckled;

The heart of gold, the flawless mind, the gentle touch, the crooked smile; the kindest, cleverest, most devious, most honest, the fairest of them all.

…………………….

I’m not.

I’m just me.

And you know what? It’s time I actually wanted to just be the person that I am. Because that’s the only one who matters.

It has to end today. Today I will stop wishing for longer legs, or bigger eyes or fairer skin, or better brains.

Today, and forever, I will remember and I will try to and I will be happy.

Just, to be me.