A Unilinguist: As if I don't talk enough in real life..: I never cease to amaze me

I never cease to amaze me

*msn: Senility is my new friend...at least I *think* it's new...

If ever I question again the usefulness of blogging, remind me of this:

That had I not idly read through my past entries to see where I’d left off (yes I realize I wouldn’t have to if I wrote more often but this is not, currently, a matter for discussion) and come across my particularly memorable (oh the irony of this phrase) passing of final exams, I would not now be seized with a horrible cringing feeling and acute discomfort;

It is Friday, and 45 minutes ago I had an appointment to view my International Finance exam paper.

Emphasis: AGO.

Words fail me, as undoubtedly my memory already has.

(As an aside, and to satisfy your curiosity and my insatiable need to, you know, talk, I wanted to view my paper due to the slightly startling fact that, for once in a very very long time, I’d expected to do better than I actually did.

Of course, now that we know just how well my powers of recollection are, perhaps it’s best to let things be and assume that the apparent ease and stellar responses with which I completed the paper were simply that – apparent, and nothing more.)

It’s also quite telling, I think, that I have allowed something quite so momentuous as becoming a graduate to slip my mind. Not to be a record here, scratched and broken, needle-jumps galore, but it may, just may, have something to do with my lack of gainful employment.

Which is not to say I do not have a job.

I do. It’s just that it is:

Not in any way related to my degree.

Not gainful as I have only just finished training, which is basically unpaid work.

Selling Subway sandwiches. (eat fresh!)

The only person that seems to have benefited so far from my recent appointment would be the waiter at that fancy-schmancy restaurant I was at last night, where I, with newfound respect for all in the service industry, left him a 20% tip. (Actually just 10%. I made Boyfriend leave the other 10%. After all, it’s not GAINFUL appointment.)

But what, I hear you wonder, about my employer?

In this case, the truth is plain and fairly simple.

Since I began work on Tuesday, I have:

Yet to learn where the buttons are on the cash register screen, and hence spend more time searching for the right items to key in (all the while muttering maniacally: “Foot-long ranch…foot-long ranch…foot-long ranch…*desperately loud and cheerily* WON’T BE A MOMENT SIR!! *mutters again* foot-long ranch…foot-long ranch…AHA!!!...one small drink…one small drink…”) than it did to make the sub in the first place.

Been the cause of an awful back-up on the lunch production line because I shamefully cannot wrap a sub to save my life.

Resisted the urge to throw a sub at the customer who not only mumbled, swallowed her words, and had such a thick accent that was impossible to understand, but, on my (very polite, might I add) request for her to repeat her order, assumed that I was either retarded or lacking English language skills (since I look and sound foreign) and proceeded to speak with exaggeratedly pronounced words and quite deliberately pointed at everything she wanted from that point on, with the most condescending of looks.

In an attempt to be helpful and look self-motivated and proactive, I decided to get a cup of hot chocolate for a customer all on my own without bothering the more senior staff with trivial details such as, you know, how to work the hot drink dispenser. (Please use your imagination. It is literally too painful a memory for me to dredge up.)