For auld lang syne

My sister starts college, again, today, and it’s like the final, Post-It postscript to my list of How Things Have Changed.

And so here I am, closer to tears than I’ve been in a while, happy and sad, listening to songs that have trapped pieces of my past forever, like an auditory stroll in darkness, with sudden memories I’d forgotten that I forgot tripping me up over and over again, hurting more each time.

This, then, is my 2005. All the things I’d never done before, most of which I probably never will again.

• I cried at the airport when I left to go back to Australia for my final semester. Oh, and in the plane as well. And when I arrived. That I was carrying a stuffed, yellow hippo half my size all the way still makes Boyfriend cringe.
• I finished with university, closing on the last chapter of a book that began 15 ½ years ago.
• I worked in a fast food centre. Eat fresh, my friends.
• I got a job without any help at all, purely on the strength of my qualifications and, apparently, making the partners laugh.
• I became financially independent. (see third point.)
• I filled in ‘Accountant’ under ‘Occupation’ on the departure form I filled in when I came home for Christmas.
• I took a photo of the departure form I filled in when I came home for Christmas.
• I started jogging daily.
• I stopped jogging daily.
• I started walking daily.
• I started this.
• I read less.
• I learnt how to roast a turkey.
• My sister started college.

And I missed everything I’d ever been and never would be again.

And I looked forward to everything I’d never been and still yet could be.

See, I’m not always doom and gloom..haha.

Happy belated new year (again)!